Borderlands Review
The Plot
A mismatched team of outlaws and fugitives are forced to search together for a mythical alien treasure on the most dangerous planet in the Galaxy. They have to battle through all manner of monsters, private armies and hordes of barbaric psychos in order to survive and unlock the true mysteries of Pandora.
The Good
Fans of the bestselling video game series will be relieved that this long in development big screen outing finally made it to cinemas. As whatever its flaws this film is likely to be the only crossover media experience gamers get to enjoy for the franchise. To that end it at least manages to introduce the series to some new fans and pay knowing homage to some of the familiar and clearly beloved characters. Hopefully this also helps push the games series forward and encourages renewed efforts to ensure further instalments in the now long running series are crowd pleasing hits.
While it’s impossible to ignore the film’s obvious flaws it is fair to say that certain characters from the game series survive the transfer to the big screen better than others. Comedic robot sidekick Claptrap, voiced enthusiastically by Jack Black, is one such highlight. His antics provide the film with rare moments approaching genuine humour, standing out amidst an otherwise drab sea of miscasting and failed flat delivery.
The Bad
The biggest mystery of Borderlands is not what hidden alien treasures lie buried in the mythical vault, but why Oscar winner Cate Blanchett ever accepted the thankless task of playing the lead role in such an obviously ill-fated video game adaptation.
The 55 year old screen icon looks instantly badly misplaced in neon red hair and a costume seemingly borrowed from a low budget 90s kid’s Saturday morning sci-fi show. Perhaps director Eli Roth and the producers mistakenly hoped that shoehorning an A list dramatic actress into the role of gun toting intergalactic bounty hunter Lilith would lend the production some much needed credibility and distinguish it from other lacklustre big screen video game adaptations.
Unfortunately in reality this decision tragically backfires on the film as luring in household name stars like Blanchett and Kevin Hart only serves to emphasise their obvious miscasting and the missed opportunity to allow fresh faces to provide these popular video characters with more authentic personality.
Audiences are growing more adept at quickly sensing cash grab insincerity and sadly for Borderlands it felt painfully obvious from the first look trailer that this was a film awkwardly assembled by a marketing committee with the embarrassing goal of luring audiences into a disappointing experience. Plagiarising very obviously from James Gunn’s Guardians of The Galaxy, Borderlands tries to recreate the appealing intergalactic magic of catchy classic rock songs and wry wisecracks, but it just feels instantly inferior and joyless.
Almost every aspect of Borderlands feels borrowed and unoriginal, simply a shameless regurgitation of supposedly popular genre tropes wrapped in bad costumes and disappointing CGI. The film somehow manages to look both obviously ill-advisedly expensive and awkwardly ‘cheap’ at the same time. The planet of Pandora is a desert like wilderness strewn with literal trash piles and quite clearly cobbled together through a tragic mix of sound stages and horribly ineffective CGI.
Set against this drab backdrop of failed production value it’s impossible for even household name stars like Blanchett, Hart and Jamie Lee Curtis to invest audiences in proceedings. A threadbare script lacking in ideas, laughs or subtle plot twists also dooms the cast to total failure.
A special mention sadly also must go to young Disney starlet Arianna Greenblatt, her performance as brattish bunny ears wearing bomb enthusiast Tiny Tina is painfully obnoxious and helps push the film even closer to the brink of being truly unwatchable. The fact the much of the film’s plot requires her to be the damsel in distress the misfit band of space antiheroes must rally around to protect makes her chronic unlikability even more unfortunate.
The Ugly Truth
Borderlands is destined to be one of this year’s biggest box office misfires but deservedly so. Miscast star names an awful script and low quality production value throughout makes this a truly joyless space romp that squanders any potential the genuinely fun video game franchise might have had. It feels tragic that studios are still making these sort of embarrassingly costly mistakes in 2024. This feels like the kind of paint by numbers atrocious video game adaptations that would have been greeted with dismay decades ago. It’s a badge of shame for all involved that this film exists as such a disappointing reminder that sometimes Hollywood truly never learns.